Saturday, December 10, 2011
why do all good things have to come to an end.
sigh. SO VERY frustrated now.
christmas cards are a pain in the neck to make. just sayin' :P
i never feel like im good enough to serve God.
i know it's a lie from the evil one
but seriously, i'm affected anyhow.
it's hard to continue to remember that God loves me for who i am
and not how much i focus on Him during worship times.
despite distractions, trying is always appreciated, though.
sometimes i forget. heh
i think i have wrong motivations to serve Him where i'm at right now.
the atmosphere is awesome and makes it way better to worship
but i am constantly distracted by people and what they think of me.
and i am blinded by pride! i know i am.
"oh your voice is so good!" pierces deeper than it should.
i want to use my gift for God.
and i know i do
but the heart attitude that comes with it is not Godly.
i get dissatisfied when i dont get it right.
i am angry with myself when i sing a note wrong.
i'm more worried about keeping appearances than actually worshipping!
when is that ever good. sigh.
i don't read the bible either.
im still in october in my yearly devotional book.
i only ever worship when im serving.
singing is one thing.
me spending time with God? kinda rare, honestly.
not that i cannot
it's more like i have not found the will to.
maybe it's cause i dont have people watching me? no motivation then.
pride, pride, pride.
1:11 PM
