long time ago...there was a girl. an awesome girl named joyce. she wrote a crappy story and sent it in to the Star. after weeks (and months) of waiting...SHE GOT RM100!!! nyehehe. juz for crapping smtg and sending it in to stuff@school. =)

go try it ppl!

Well, anyway...here it is:

A Family Surnamed Chaos
(did ya know they renamed my story Chaos Is Our Name?? How original. ugh)

TO: shazzythecow@coldmail.com
FROM: violetsRpurplenotblue91@jmail.com
SUBJECT: HELP ME!!!

"Can you PLEASE hurry up?"
"RIZ! I need to use the bathroom, NOW!!"
"Vi, lend me your comb, please?"
"Can somebody call Leah and ask her what time's she's touching down?"
"Lucas, if you don't open this door right NOW, I'll - "
"Careful, Sherie baby, don't drop the - "
"Don't pull my hair, Zane! It hurts!"
"Who took my Forever 21 shirt?"
"Hey, that's my - "
"Mummy, look at Zena, she's...mummy? Mummy!!!"
"AHHHHH!!!"

My dear long lost cousin,
As you would like to know how the family is faring, i have typed out an excerpt of the major events that just happened in the last hour. Hope you enjoy it!

I know I'll grow bald before the age of 21. What with the pandemonium that is my family, anyone would lose their mental stability. The above details a fragment of our daily dose of loving interaction with one another. Between a heart attack and a major stroke, I don't think my parents have much of a choice.

Well, it's not our fault they have 13 kids.

Yes, you read that right. My parents, Charles and Bella, have six sons and seven daughters. I do pity them, occasionally.

Actually, no, I pity them every day. Surprisingly, they still look young and hip, though my father seems to have some grey hair cleverly hidden away.

First off, there is Jude, who is 25 this year. Then, the fist pair of twins - Kaden (Kade) and Jaden (Jay), both 23. After them come Leah, 21, and Lucas (Luc), 18. Then there's me (Vi), Charissa (Riz) and Clarissa (Claire), 15, and Dariz, 13. Zena and Zane are the world's cutest but cheekiest pair of twins, both aged eight. After that is Sherah, or Sherie, four, and baby Kara, aged 18 months.

Today, however, the noise pollution level has increased. Jude, my eldest brother, is getting married tomorrow.

Hopefully, his future wife, Alyssa, knows what she is getting into.

As i said, today's racket is especially outrageous. We are all running about, trying to prepare for tonight's grand pre-wedding feast and any last minute changes for tomorrow's ceremony.

Well, actually, Jude is running about panicking and the rest of them are just causing mayhem, as usual.

I...well, I am merely watching everyone annoy everyone else.

My parents must be thanking their lucky stars that they had work today, thus leaving the general management of the household to me.

Yes, I, Violet, aged 17, child number six. I guess it is because I am always calm and collected...unless provoked, of course.

Anyway, i have to run now. I need to bully Lucas into fetching Riz and Claire to the mall to get their dresses. Then, I have to drop Sherie, Zena and Zane at the babysitter's. Stay tuned!

TO: shazzythecow@coldmail.com
FROM: violetsRpurplenotblue91@jmail.com
SUBJECT: HELP ME!!! Part 2

Hi, I'm back! Sorry I have to send two e-mails. I accidentally pressed the 'Send' button for the earlier one.

But anyway, the calm flooding the house now is making me bored.

Kara is sleeping, Dariz has locked himself in his room, as usual, Jude has gone out to who-knows-where, and Luc is still at the mall. Poor him. The kids are gone, the twins are gone (thank heavens), and...oh wait.

That's the doorbell. Hold on, I'll go get it.

Sorry about that. Guess who else is here!

Leah has returned, dragging Kade and Jay behind her. Not literally, of course. They are way too heavy for one girl. Kara woke up at the sound of the doorbell, and Leah has gone to soothe her.

Oh no! I have to run again. I have to get some stuff Mum forgot to buy from the grocer. Luc's on his way home; Jude is picking up the kids. I can just envision the havoc about to ensue...

Time to escape!

TO: shazzythecow@coldmail.com
FROM: violetsRpurplenotblue91@jmail.com
SUBJECT: The Incredible Sense of Relief...

Wow. True to my word, the whole house was turned upside down with the whole family in it. Alyssa was wise to stay away until dinner time.

I am not sure how much you know about our family customs, but we love cooking. It's actually a tradition for the female members to prepare and cook the food, and the males to clean up after that.

So, all our extended family, including your parents, came over. It is a good thing we have such a big house, otherwise the roof would have caved in. My parents' brothers, sisters, their spouses, and their children all started waltzing in by 6 p.m.

The fairer (and naturally more intelligent) sex gravitated towards the kitchen while the stronger men helped to decorate the house. Within half an hour, everything was done.

You can close your mouth now. It's not really that surprising once you get to know us.

What can I say, anyway? We were really hungry...but I'm not worried about the quality of the food. it was really, really sumptous. Honestly.

Why spend money at fancy restaurants when you can get the same quality and quantity at a lower price? There was roast lamb in apple sauce, steamed fish with ginger, sea cucumber stuffed with meat, deep-fried chicken, your mum's special lor bak, salted vegetable soup...

But I digress.

The whole night was a time for us to catch up with each other, to crack silly jokes (the other thing that we do well, besides cooking and eating), to bond and give advice, to share recent events, to plot world domination...I'm just kidding about the last one!

Then came the next morning.

Jude woke up with a stick up his...ahem, you know. We were ordered about, not unlike a sergeant-general drilling his minions.

Of course, it wouldn't be normal if family members didn't cause some sort of disorder. The kids would take the opportunity to run around the house half-naked and scream their lungs off; the vain ones would hole up in the bathroom for hours doing who-knows-what...I merely made the wise decision by returning to slumberland.

I thought I spotted steam blowing out of Jude's ears; I'm not so sure.

But we forgave him. today was the most important day of his life and, thank goodness it went without a hitch.

My parents now have 14 kids. I don't think they're really bothered about the number, though.

By the way - oh no. Zane and Zena are trying to play Tarzan. Trust me; it's not as funny as it sounds. I've got to save the wannabe chimps before Daric clobbers them for swinging on his metal-rod thingy (don't ask).

Before you ask, no, there isn't anyone else to help our. The twin girls are cat-fighting in their room, Kade has escaped with Luc, Jay is blasting music for the whole street to hear, Leah is sleeping like the dead, and Sherah's about to colour Kara with - Oh, darn, I've really got to go.

Yes, again.